What's Your Life Purpose?

I recently read a psychology article that said when people make small decisions, logical reasoning usually produces the best result and when people make large decisions, following a gut feeling tends to produce a better result. In conclusion, listen to your intuition if you want to figure out what to do with your life.

Nonetheless, I'm going to present a quick exercise that may help you bring that gut feeling up to the surface. Simply, just answer the following questions, look for common themes, and let your instincts take care of the rest. I've included a few of my own answers.

1. What makes you smile?
Solving complex problems, learning something new, babies, flirting

2. What are you curious about?
The universe, brain, quantum physics, other cultures and languages, what makes people great, economics

3. What do you notice?
Nice clothing, elegance, unique style, great design, non-verbal communication, inefficiency, underlying principles, what makes someone unique or different

4. What do you do without thinking?
Synthesizing complex information and ideas, critical thinking and logical reasoning, finding humor in situations, criticizing, planning and executing plans, learning, working with systems, maximizing efficiency, organizing

5. What are you passionate about?
Science, self-improvement, solving complex problems, increasing efficiency, thinking in new ways, challenging people and ideas, overcoming challenges

6. What would you do for free?
Learning, science experiments, teaching/helping, planning, increasing efficiency

7. What do you always talk about?
Science, brain, universe, social interactions, self-improvement, new theories

Here's another version, which I find a little vague, but may still be valuable.

Book Review & Free Download: The Science of Being Great by Wallace Wattles

Just finished one of my first ever audio books (technically my third) and I am very content. The Science of Being Great was first published in 1911, but its main ideas transcend time.

The book presents very little science or research and that which it presents is outdated. However, the ideas are potent. Basically, it discusses the power of positive thinking and can be compared to the 'Law of Attraction.' 

I can't say I believe that thought objectively alters physical reality. But for practical purposes it does. Subjectively, our reality is based on our beliefs and perceptions. If this were not so, confirmation bias would not exist in science. Yet, it does because we effectively mold our own worlds. There is simply too much information for the brain to process to build an objective reality. Selective perception empowers humans to be more happy and productive than if they were to view the world in a purely objective way.

A sexy female accent narrates the book and makes sweet love to your ear buds. On a side note, I now prefer audio books as the choice method of "reading." For me, stopping everything and just focusing on sound brings me into the moment. Listen to audio books as if you're reading a book. Mute all other distractions and you will become more present and focused. Avoid multi tasking (though audio books and driving may be a good combo). 

Here's free and legal torrent download of the book, which is in the librivox public domain. In total, it is about 2 hours and 12 minutes long.

What Does It Mean to Be A Man?

A man sets his own standards.
A man takes action rather than seeking permission.
A man respects himself, his time, and others. He expects the same in return.
A man knows what he wants and pursues it unrelentingly.
A man nourishes his mind, body, and soul.
A man expresses emotion.
A man believes he can accomplish anything he wants.
A man plays his strengths and admits his weaknesses.
A man seeks truth and does not lie to himself or others in order to feel more comfortable.
A man displays goodness, kindness, and gentleness.
A man is a dick when he needs to be.
A man feels comfortable with his desires.
A man acts self-assured and confident, not supplicative or hyper-masculine.
A man loves life and appreciates beauty.
A man accepts responsibility for his himself, his actions, and his life.
A man is at peace with the world.

Please add your own ideas to the list in the comments section. A female perspective would be really great too!

The Byronic Hero

That man of loneliness and mystery,

Scarce seen to smile, and seldom heard to sigh— (I, VIII)
and

He knew himself a villain—but he deem’d
The rest no better than the thing he seem’d;
And scorn’d the best as hypocrites who hid
Those deeds the bolder spirit plainly did.
He knew himself detested, but he knew
The hearts that loath’d him, crouch’d and dreaded too.
Lone, wild, and strange, he stood alike exempt
From all affection and from all contempt: (I, XII)

Don't Listen To Me, I'm A Dumbass

Okay, that's a lie. I'm pretty smart. But you're smarter, or at least you have that potential, because our own minds know us better than anyone else (even when we feel lost). The human mind poses a huge well of power. However, accessing that power is the difficult part. It requires high levels of: self-awareness, critical thought, honesty, openness, nonjudgmentalness, acceptance, patience, and faith. Wow. That's a big list.

People often seek advice or instruction. While having both and internal and external perspective is important, many people simply forget about the internal.

If there's something you want to answer or achieve, ask yourself first before seeking out external resources. Many times our minds will show us the path if we have a little patience.  In the words of The Brain, "Are you pondering what I'm pondering?"

R-Drive Happiness

Another sweet test from similarminds.org  is the R-Drive test. It comes in short (65 questions) and long (165 questions) versions and provides insight into what you find rewarding and motivating (i.e. what makes you happy) in addition to relevant weak spots.

I found mine to be accurate so I thought I'd share the test. My results:

Happy                                                                                Potential Flaws
Being independent                                                           Avoidance
Intellectual complexity                                                    Impractical, alienation
Structure                                                                           Rigid, lacking spontaneity
Change                                                                               Not sticking to something
Physical exercise
Being calm

Take the test and let me know how accurate it was in describing you.

Positive Dominance

People sometimes assign a negative connotation to dominance. However, dominance empowers individuals. In particular, cultivating dominance over your own life helps create an internal locus of control so as to make you feel as if you have the power to create your own reality rather than being the victim of the world. Dominance creates influence. Positive dominance is the ability to have control over life in a way that enriches your life and the life of those who you are dominant over.

I rank highly on the Neuroticism personality scale; I prefer to take control and be the leader. Yet, I catch myself looking for permission on occasion and I can feel a sensation of weakness whenever I'm not going after what I want. This stems from a combination of crappy social conditioning and a lack of strong role models.

Leaders don't seek permission, they take action regardless of what others think. There are few leaders in the world and many followers. That's totally fine, not everyone has to lead others, though everyone should have the ability to lead themselves. Certain personalities have natural leadership qualities, yet they can be highly underdeveloped. Dominance is just one aspect of leadership. It's something I would like to cultivate.

I've noticed the following common traits among dominant people:

• They touch people frequently. Submissive and passive people tend to be wary or fearful of touching others. Dominant people aren't afraid to use touch for emphasis, appreciation, or attention.
• Dominant people tend to be more physically expressive, using more hand gestures and facial expressions than an average person. However, there are expressive people who aren't necessarily dominant.
• Hold strong eye-contact and don't look away first.
• Initiate, whether it is a handshake or a get together.
• Ask for forgiveness rather than for permission.
• Make decisions and take control.
• Are highly secure with themselves.
• Have strong boundaries. This is extremely important. Most people have underdeveloped boundaries. I really wish this was taught in school.
• Have a strong identity, life purpose, and/or are charismatic or charming.
• Have a high social and/or emotional intelligence. Because they take action before seeking permission, it is very important to read non-verbal communication so as not to cross boundaries or disrespect others.

There are two main strategies when it comes to cultivating personality traits, which can be summarized by the following: "Lead the mind, and the body will follow. Lead the body, and the mind will follow." Science backs this up as well.

Leading the mind entails a method acting type of approach. The simplest way is to ask questions to yourself and then let your subconscious return the answer. This is called contemplation, introspection, or meditation. Have you had the experience where someone asked you for advice, you gave it to them, and they still wanted more advice? They just couldn't accept or run with it but still seemed unsure? 

Well, that's usually because people want to find the answer themselves (or because they're stuck in a victim mentality and don't actually want help). You can almost always find the right answer yourself. Just ask your brain questions, "How can I be more dominant?" "How would a dominant person behave?" Then let your subconscious do the work.

The second way, leading the body, entails modelling behaviors of dominant people. So, take any aspect from the list above and tell yourself that you will do more of it. For example, say, "Today, I will use more hand gestures as I speak." Throughout the day, check in on yourself to see whether you are doing it. Your behavior will affect your mental attitude the same way your attitude affects your behavior.

The learning process follows this pattern:

Unconscious incompetence --> conscious incompetence --> conscious competence --> unconscious competence. I'll cover this later.

The key issues are to focus on one behavior or attitude at a time and to have a strong awareness that allows you to recognize answers as they float up to your mind and allows you to remember to check in through out the day. You can call this mindfulness or presence.

Freedom Through Art

Surrealism is freedom in art form. Rules don't exist. Imagination drives the paintbrush and makes the brain do back flips. Sometimes I feel as if I'm getting a brain massage when I look at such surprising images. We are forever in search of freedom.