Universal Consciousness

The ideas in the videos are both complex yet simple to understand. Essentially, Hagelin proposes the idea that the Unified Field, which Einstein spent most of his life working on, the thing that connects quantum mechanics with the laws of relativity, is consciousness.

In other words, he flips the conventional view that because we have a bunch of neurons and chemicals in our brain, we have consciousness. Instead, at the core, the universe is just an ocean of consciousness and wherever there are high concentrations of consciousness is where we see physical matter.

What a mind bending idea.

Top 10 Keys to Being a Boss

Want more success and happiness? This is how I'll get it based on my personal strengths, weaknesses, and experiences. Yours may differ.

1. Presence - Being in the moment. Can be described as where you place your attention. I tend to get stuck inside my head and thus fail to be present. The best way to become present is to move attention away from your thoughts and onto something else such as the physical sensation in your toes (or other body parts), the sounds around you, listening intently to whoever you're speaking with, and focusing on their eyes. Yoga helps quite a bit (it forces you to bring your attention to your body, breath, and gaze). These are things that help me. Would love to hear anything else you use to become more present.

2. Honest expression of your feelings and boundaries - In the long run, not expressing yourself, boundaries, and feelings will lead to wasting time on people, places, and projects that get you no where. Being dishonest is also inefficient. Better to clear things up from the get go and save yourself bullshit in the long run. If you tend to be uber direct or critical like me, learn a little tact. It'll be more efficient and give you a little more power dealing with peoples' feelings.

3. Leading and dominance - Take control over your life, conversations, and interactions. Few people want to step up and just seek permission. Someone has to be a leader, might as well be you. If you're a female, be assertive but remember that being feminine is still sexy and powerful. Domineering women can be a turn-off and actually lead to less influence in your interactions.

4. Strong non-verbal communication - This is extremely powerful. Hold solid eye-contact, take up some space (but not too much as that shows overcompensation and too much aggression), stand up straight, slow down movements and speech, and speak with a resonant voice from your natural pitch (use hum test to find it).

5. Know your value - Write down and remind yourself of all of the things that make you awesome. When speaking with others, imagine they are the lucky ones for knowing a guy/girl like you. Try to write down 50 things right now!

6. Be the buyer and think win/win. When you meet others, don't sell yourself. Have them sell themselves to you. You're the buyer here. You don't have to sell yourself to anyone. Then, make sure to go 50/50 partners in crime. You both have something to offer. Think win/win mentalities.

7. Nonchalance - Have a casual attitude when meeting new people and making plans. Don't be too eager or needy, you have more important priorities than new people. Additionally, don't over explain yourself. Say and do less and others will begin reacting to you.

8. Play - Don't forget to laugh, tease, and flirt with everyone. Have fun, even in tough situations. Think of Tony Stark in Ironman, always making jokes in the most life threatening situations.

9. Purpose - Follow your life purpose at all times in all actions. Don't know what it is? Figure it out ASAP. Without direction or goals, you're wasting your time on this planet.

10. Gratitude - Express gratitude daily. Write down 3 new things you are grateful for at the end of every day.

Bonus:

11. Always be growing - Never stop learning or investing in yourself whether it's through classes, clothes, health, reading, etc.

7 Important Ideas Summarized

I have 7 posts in the queue that I've been wanting to write. But my interest in spending time at a computer rather than in the real world is waning so I'm just going to format it all into a random summary list. Here goes:

1. Why I'm Into Clothes: I like fashion because a) I love art, but I suck at most art forms like drawing or singing, and b) it has practical, real world applications. There is power and influence in clothing.

2. A Brief Primer on Economics: Most people need to take a basic economics class or two before they argue for idiotic policies. Two important concepts people don't understand are comparative advantage and long-term economic growth.

Comparative advantage basically means strengths, weaknesses, and efficiency. China has a comparative advantage (is better) in manufacturing textiles than the U.S. making 'buy American' programs a stupid idea. The U.S. has a comparative advantage in innovation. Thus, any resources spent on manufacturing in the U.S. is a waste because those resources can be used to contribute a larger benefit to society if spent on what the U.S. is good at (has a comparative advantage in).

The next concept is long-term economic growth. Examining economic growth for the past 50, 1000, even 10000 years we see that the trend is constant growth with occasional minor dips. Yet, there is always a fear that there aren't enough jobs, that certain jobs need to be saved, etc. For example, car manufacturing jobs are dying, but people want to save them, citing their importance to the economy. This is a false belief. Saving obsolete jobs only slows growth. There are always new jobs and services that replace the old jobs once resources are freed.

Obama messed up when he bailed out the U.S. auto industry. We shouldn't keep people employed in manufacturing just because they have no other skills. The money would have been better spent on programs to train new skills into these workers, ones which are relevant to growing industries. For example, Dilma Rousseff, the president of Brazil, implemented scholarship programs for the information/technology field.

Jobs will die out, but there will always be new jobs to replace them. The key is to stay relevant and keep training new skills.

3. Technology and the Death of Personal Integrity: Technology such as texting kills personal integrity because it removes the accountability of ones' word. It's too easy to say yes to a text  or confirm a Facebook event and not follow through for whatever reason. If you want a commitment from someone (other than your few best friends), it must be done in person or over the phone. This places greater accountability on both parties to follow through. It's also more personal, so people feel as if you genuinely want to see them rather than seek their approval.

4. The Hallmark of Genius: Is the ability to hold and understand two opposing ideas at the same time. Almost everything in life is a paradox, and it is valid.

5. Power of Imagination: Imagination is more important than knowledge. Almost every important revolution, theory, or idea arose from someone's imagination first, and then was followed by evidence.

6. The Disease of More: Lots of Western nations seem to be working on providing people with more. We don't need more. We need better quality. For example, we don't need genetic scientists working on creating larger tomatoes. We need better tomatoes; fresh and grown in nutrient rich soil. Americans already throw away 40% of their food (supposedly). Not positive on the statistic but we throw away a lot as it is.

7. Happiness for Productivity - A Great Workplace:

How to Give Advice

...don't.

Everyone feels the need to fix problems. Especially me, since I'm naturally love solving problems and am quite direct. However, few people actually want advice when they talk about their problems. More often than not they just want someone to listen.

The best way to do this is hold eye-contact and paraphrase back what someone has told you. Make 'mmhm' sounds on occasion (but not too frequently). Try cocking your head to the side as well (lead the body and the mind will follow).

There have been too many times when someone has even asked me for advice only to hear me say it and still feel indecisive and need further validation. STFU and go try it or don't ask me for advice. This annoys me to death.

The best method here is inception. Or, as some may call it, the Socratic method.

Whenever someone asks for your advice, just pose the question back to them. Dig deeper by turning whatever advice you'd originally give into the form of a question. For example, if you would tell someone, "try waiting a few days and then go call them and talk about it then," instead say, "What if you waited a few days and then called them?"

Asking someone a question fires up the brain and forces them to think more critically. Most of the time we want to answer our own questions. And, we usually have the best answer anyone could give. It just requires a little push to dig in different directions.

Michaelangelo Your Life

Sand art astounds me. I love the skill and creativity behind it. In fact, I appreciate all kinds of art. In particular, sculpture is a fantastic art form. Creating something wonderful out of a large block of stone catches my interest.

The single most important realization I've come to in my 24 years on this planet is that we create our own realities. This happens through our own biases, perceptions, and beliefs. Our minds cannot process all of the information we receive, so our brain chooses between pieces of information.

Thus, if we decide what to believe, we effectively become master sculptors of our own realities. However, this requires a strong internal locus of control. Many people lack this and believe they are at the mercy of external circumstance.

While many natural laws and external factors do affect our lives, it is more healthy to believe that we ultimately have more control than not. We are inherently repelled by people who complain and adopt the woe-is-me mentalities (unless we do the same, in which case we may draw those people into our lives).

While I cannot say that I believe the law of attraction actually changes physical reality, it is an unnecessary claim because we can change our realities simply by changing our perceptions.

Try this quick exercise with me. Take a moment and look around you and notice all of the things which are blue. Go ahead, take a few moments right now. I'll wait.

...now, can you tell what was red?

Probably not (unless the guy in front of you is wearing a red shirt). This is because our reticular activating system directs our attention (which I also describe as presence or awareness) toward one thing or another rather than trying to soak in all information and then filter it.

As a result, our attention becomes one of the most influencing forces in our lives. We can either wire or brains to focus on the positive or the negative. Habitual use then strengthens these circuits. Thus, changing our brain structures changes our realities.

Our behaviors come from our brains circuits, but behavior also changes our brain circuits. It's a loop phenomena.

Realize that you are the Michelangelo of your own life. You have the power to sculpt your own reality.

A Favorite Poem: If by Rudyard Kipling

If you can keep your head when all about you   

    Are losing theirs and blaming it on you,   

If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,

    But make allowance for their doubting too;   

If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,

    Or being lied about, don’t deal in lies,

Or being hated, don’t give way to hating,

    And yet don’t look too good, nor talk too wise:

If you can dream—and not make dreams your master;   

    If you can think—and not make thoughts your aim;   

If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster

    And treat those two impostors just the same;   

If you can bear to hear the truth you’ve spoken

    Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,

Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,

    And stoop and build ’em up with worn-out tools:

If you can make one heap of all your winnings

    And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,

And lose, and start again at your beginnings

    And never breathe a word about your loss;

If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew

    To serve your turn long after they are gone,   

And so hold on when there is nothing in you

    Except the Will which says to them: ‘Hold on!’

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,   

    Or walk with Kings—nor lose the common touch,

If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you,

    If all men count with you, but none too much;

If you can fill the unforgiving minute

    With sixty seconds’ worth of distance run,   

Yours is the Earth and everything that’s in it,   

    And—which is more—you’ll be a Man, my son!

The Intersection of High Assertiveness and High Cooperation

I've been pondering how to describe "higher consciousness." What do I mean when I say that humans need to learn how to operate from a higher consciousness?

Well, I stumbled on this chart a few days ago and believe it matches my thinking very well. All lower consciousness thinking falls into the categories labeled anything but "collaborating."

Win/lose or lose/lose mentalities pervade these quadrants. Most people, ideas, and paragdigms fall into these categories. Capitalism falls here as well (competing). Socialism would probably fall near the avoidant mindset though it attempts to masquerade near the top right.

Very few people are true "collaborators." Well, in order for the collective human spirit to reach a higher level of existence, we must work to move the tipping point over so that the majority of people operate from the collaborative paradigm.

Win/win mentalities must become the norm of the world if we are to survive for millions more years. There are many ways to tackle this problem. I'll present them in upcoming articles.

What Is The Purpose of Life?

Being a nerd philosopher, this is a question I have discussed and explored quite a bit. It's difficult for me to describe my thinking process here as I've collected snippets of information for my mental model from all over (physics experiments, spiritual studies, philosophical studies, personal experiences, yoga/meditation, etc.)

The answer is fairly simple. But first, a rebuttal to a few common beliefs. I'm not discussing individual purpose, but the purpose of human life in general.

'There is no purpose to life. We define our own purpose.' This is hard to believe because if there is no purpose to life, the parsimonious solution would be for nothing to exist. Yet, the universe exists. Why is there something instead of nothing?

'The purpose of life is survival.' This does not make sense either. Survival is not a purpose, it is a prerequisite. Why would so much energy go into creating the universe and life for it to remain in a static state of just trying to survive. Once again, the parsimonious solution would be for nothing to exist in the first place.

The purpose of life is simply to experience, to create, to grow. Life is simply the universe trying to experience itself in human form. It is the universe at play. It is the universe creating and building complex objects, like a Lego set. And because we are part of the universe, it is impossible for humans to not create or not to grow ourselves. 

Humanity has not remained a static hunter gatherer society. We've built cities, nations, and technologies. We cannot not create or expand our civilization. This is a fundamental law of the universe. Complexity and growth is inevitable. This is the nature of the universal consciousness. 

Looks Don't Matter: How to REALLY Be Attractive

Finally, I have a cited work for you to refer to. Also, the title is a bit of a lie because...

"Looks" in terms of attraction is a misnomer. We use it to refer to stable measures such as jawlines. But, we forget to include things like grooming.

A study published in 1997 in the journal of Current Psychology demonstrates that physical appearance (as defined by traditional sensibilities) is not the single most important determinant of attractiveness.

The best way to describe the findings is, "You don't need to be good-looking, but you should look good."

The study found that the most important element of attractiveness (for both men and women) was 'self-care.' This included changeable aspects such as neat hair, proper grooming, well-fitting and quality clothing, healthy weight, and good posture. All of which are relatively easy to handle.

Left: how most US men mess up fit. Right: proper fit

After 'self-care,' three other components were important for attractiveness, but only 33% as important as 'self-care.' These were 'masculinity,' 'femininity,' and 'pleasantness.'

Masculinity, somewhat attractive to women, was defined by more stable features (depending on gym time) such as muscularity, shoulder width, larger chest, and bigger jaw. However, these can also be changed.

Femininity, somewhat attractive to men, was defined by longer hair, wearing make-up, and feminine body language and posture. Again, these are changeable.

Pleasantness, somewhat attractive to both men and women, was defined by happy, positive, and friendly attitude. These traits can be cultivated. Smiles are simple and take little effort.

Thus, increasing attractiveness is mostly a matter of changing easily-changeable qualities (see below). On top of that, add the gym for men, long hair and make-up for women, and a positive attitude for both, and you can have the whole package.

I'd also add gym for women as well, as that plays a role in healthy weight and can improve posture.

So, here's how to maximize attractiveness. Remember, self-care is the most important element followed by masculinity/femininity and pleasantness in equal proportion.

1. Grooming - Most important aspect according to the research. Shower, style and keep hair neat, and shower or trim where needed. Brush teeth and keep your breath fresh. Simple, yet so many people fail in this regard.

A note: if you have perpetually bad breath despite cleaning your mouth 1-2x a day, you may need to clean your tongue in addition. Or, you may need dental work. Go see a dentist.

2. Clothing - Also really important and easy to fix. The research indicates three aspects to be more attractive: neat, well-fitting, and more formal. So, make sure to clean and press your clothing, buy clothing that flatters your body shape, and er a little on the classy side.

Read my posts on fashion archetypes and red and black clothes if you want to step it up even further.

3. Posture - stand up straight, head up, and shoulders back. Heels for women and heeled shoes for men improve posture (and they're more formal)! Your desk chair will influence posture as well. Also, working out in the gym and doing certain exercises can affect posture as well.

4. Attitude - Be positive and friendly and make sure to smile frequently.

5. Fitness - A general healthy weight was found to be attractive. This is a bit more difficult for many people who live in a developed nation. Neither too skinny nor too fat is attractive. Exercise and diet are key for maintaining this aspect.

A note: you cannot go on a diet and expect this to change. You have to change your "lifestyle" and the way you eat and move permanently, not for 30 or 90 days.

6. Gender - Step it up further by looking more masculine or feminine (depending on who you want to attract). For men, this will require extra gym time/lifting to move beyond "healthy weight" and develop broader shoulders, a bigger chest, and more musculature. Facial hair can strengthen a weak jawline.

For women, grow out your hair and learn to apply make-up properly to accentuate eyes, lips, and facial structure.

A note: Research shows that masculine women are attracted to very masculine men while really feminine women are attracted to men who may be be less masculine. This does not mean they are attracted to men who dress flamboyantly, have effeminate body language, and are indecisive. It just means they don't need a man to be on the very edge of super masculinity.

(Update) Research also shows that really masculine men prefer really feminine women. Make-up is preferential depending on the man, but long(er) hair is definitely important whether a man says he likes short vs. long hair. Avoid super short hair at all costs. This is a HUGE turn off:

We do not want to date a 12 year old boy. I was honestly really attracted to these two women before they cut their hair. Now I'm really put off. Don't make the mistake of thinking femininity somehow makes you unequal. Use it as a charming tool of positive influence. 

A few caveats: Keep in mind that this study was done by having people look at photos, so attractiveness can easily change when you begin interacting with people in person. Non-verbal communication and personality play a huge factor in attractiveness as well. More on that in the future.

Also, this is a self-reported survey. Behavior may vary from self-reports. Nonetheless, people instinctively have gut reactions for attractiveness.

Fashion Archetypes and A Congruent Image

Powerful men and women have a uniform. They don't wear something new from day to day. Nor do they usually mix and match styles from different archetypes (unless they're in the industry). There is a very good reason for this.

A 2003 study illustrates the importance of a congruent image. That went something like this (sorry I lost the link):

A man would ask strangers for help reading a manual. In one instance he had tattoos showing and was dressed down. In another instance, he wore a suit with no tattoos showing. In the third, he wore a suit but the tattoos were visible.

When the man wore casual clothes, showing tattoos and the suit without showing his tattoos, people spent an average of 54 seconds helping him. But when the man wore the suit and allowed his tattoos to be visible (rolled up sleeves), he only received about 32 seconds of help.

The details may be off, but the point is that as humans we prefer a coherent image and become too confused with a contradicting image. We're more likely to spend time helping someone with a coherent image (whether tatted or suited), but less likely to help someone dressed in a way that pieces different images together.

This is the reason I hate wearing a button down and blazer with jeans. I never recommend that men do this because the image is incoherent and confuses people too much. This decreases the power you have in social interactions. In addition, the flamboyant nature of mixing and matching may lead women to ask if you are gay (from my own personal experiments and observing others). Nothing wrong with that unless you want to exude a masculine energy, which has its own reasons and benefits.

The only exception I might make is if each piece of clothing worn comes from a different style. This actually creates a coherent image and the eclectic archetype. The major style archetypes follow (can you guess mine?):

1. Classic -

Men dressing classic usually wear suits, simple and neutral colors, black tie attire, watches, cufflinks. For a more casual look they may wear khakis, polos, and sweaters. Short haired and well-groomed.

Women displaying the classic type usually wear dresses, skirts, pearls, necklaces and earrings, blouses. They'll tend to have longer hair (but may go short) and be well groomed. Related to trendy category since new trends may eventually become classics. [Side note: long hair always looks better on a woman. It's more feminine and frames better. No man wants to make-out with a woman that looks like a 12 year old boy.]

Think professional, elegant, classy, conservative. Examples of classic men include Daniel Craig, George Clooney, and Leonardo DiCaprio. Classic women include Nicole Kidman and Audrey Hepburn.

2. Trendy -

Trendy dressers tend to follow whatever is in style rather than really figure out what reflects their real personality. This can be problematic if your look changes constantly as it reflects a lack of a sense of self.

Trendies also include subculture styles such as hip hop, hipster, scene, etc. Tighter cuts fall here. GQ is all trends. Shorter hair on women is also a current, albeit unattractive, trend. Sexier version of the classic archetype.

Examples of good trendy include Joseph-Gordon Levitt, Ryan Gosling, and Ed Westwick. Not a huge fan of Timberlake who is a little too GQ, which I used to be as well. Emma Watson is trendy.

3. Dramatic -

Dramatic dressers wear leather jackets, denim jackets, jewelry, jeans and have wild hairstyles. Tattoos and piercings are common. Grooming tends to on the lower end. Dramatic women wear attention grabbing make-up. Shiny things and avant-garde fashions fall here. Related to romantic and eclectic styles as they're all a bit on the flamboyant side.

Think rockers, punks, rebels, bad boy/girl, eye-catching, seductive. Keith Richards and David Bowie for male examples. Lady Gaga is very dramatic.

4. Romantic -

Romantics wear loose and soft clothing with lots of jewelry. Hair tends to be longer on both men and women.

Think boho, hippie, relaxed. Great male examples are Johnny Depp and Robert Downey Jr. Romantic woman is synonymous with Nicole Richie.

5. Eclectic -

Eclectics usually incorporate lots of different elements from all different kinds of styles but still create a coherent image. This is generally an advanced style and closely related to the dramatic archetype.

Think fusion, mixed, eye-catching, cultural. Gwen Stefani is an eclectic dresser. Rare among straight men.

6. Natural -

People dressed naturally will usually wear jeans, tees, Northface jackets, and other casual clothing. The grooming is moderate and accessories are minimal. Related to sporty category. Tends to not care about clothing as much.

Think guy/girl next door. Look at people you wouldn't usually notice for an example.

7. Sporty -

Sporties wear athletic clothing, sneakers,tank tops, and minimal accessories.

Think athletic, outdoorsy, physical. For examples look in the gym and sports field.

Find your fashion archetype (based on your personality and lifestyle) and stick to it. This is the best way to make your clothing work for you. Note, however, that most personal styles combine two or three archetypes yet manage to maintain a coherent image. This is an advanced topic I will cover in the future.

How to Rewire Your Brain For Positivity: Gratitude

One of my favorite tips ever, for rewiring the brain, is keeping a gratitude log. I remember months ago my head was filled with lots of negative thoughts. Then, I watched a TED talk about positive thinking and it did wonders.

I'm not going to link any research as to the benefits of gratitude because there is loads of literature and it is easy to find. But above is that TED talk. Please watch it, it's very powerful not to mention really funny!

Quick action steps:
1. Write down three new things you are grateful for each day for at least 21 days

Charismatic BusinessBalls

Here's a great resource, written by Nikki Owens, on charisma. According to Owens, charismatic people have the 5 following traits:

1. High Self-Esteem and comfortable in their own skin. This allows individuals to be authentic. It is contextual. Elvis Presley was charistmatic on stage, but shy in front of reporters.
2. Driving Force whereby individuals live their life according to their values, which creates dynamism and enthusiasm. This is also contextual. Margaret Thacther had a strong drive as a politician  but was more relaxed in the home.
3. Sensory Awareness which allows charismatics to tap into their own feelings and those of others. This makes them very expressive.
4. Vision of what they want, which creates a strong energy of intent.
5. High Energy which intoxicates others and builds energy within them.

Remember my previous post on charisma? This builds upon that one and delves into more of the internal component. The one change I would make to Owen's summary is replacing "high self-esteem" with "high confidence" because I don't consider self-esteem to be as contextual as confidence.

A key take-away from the article is that charisma is a combination of external charming gestures and internal character qualities. This, seemingly then, contradicts Cabane's assertion that charisma is a learned behavior.

Well, most of these internal qualities can be learned as well (except maybe high energy). However, some personality types may naturally be more suited to learning charisma or developing higher levels of charisma.

The importance here is that of cultivating an internal ecosystem of charisma traits, which will then manifest itself in external behaviors. Remember, method-acting is more powerful than simply learning external behaviors and body language.

We can use our conscious minds to program our unconscious, which will then communicate non-verbally with the world.

I'll soon write up my own definition of charisma, so look forward to that!

Quick actions steps:
1. To increase your self-esteem, sit down and list 30 things that are great about you. 30 may sound like a stretch, but that is the point. My first list contained 50 items.
2. To increase sensory awareness (i.e. presence), spend 20 minutes a day doing yoga or meditation.

The Future of Business and Free Content

Social media, freemium, and The Thank You Economy by Gary Veynerchuk illustrate the evolving tide in business.

Not long ago, businesses offered a product or service and consumers purchased it outright. Now, consumers expect companies to offer free value whether in the form of blog content, free ebooks, etc. Those that fail in this endeavor fail to generate customers. 

I've experienced this myself when I purchased a $300 program from a company because of the amazing free videos they posted regularly as a "thank you" for what they do. Of course if the free content was valuable, the paid content would be valuable as well.

Selling is being focused more and more on Cialdini's principle of reciprocity. Do something nice for me and I want to do something nice for you. This is why grocery stores that offer free samples get customers to buy more. 

As a result, companies can no longer survive without offering significant quality and value. They really do have to offer a good product or service to even register on consumers' radars.

This is a double edged sword however. My entitlement has now gone up. I expect free value everywhere I turn and am less willing to spend money as I believe value should just be handed to me or that I can find what I need for free somewhere else. 

Businesses will now have to work hard on producing consistently high value content and develop new business models for generating revenue. Marketing is getting harder. Upselling to paid products will be key, subscription models will be more common, and consumers will have more say over what companies make and sell.

We're in for a challenging, yet exciting future.

Quick Action Steps For Anyone Try To Sell Something:
1. Create a free resource such as an e-book to genuinely improve peoples' lives

Get Bloody, Dirty, and Sweaty

"It is not the critic who counts. Not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles or where the doer of deeds could have done better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs and comes up short again and again; who knows the great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause. Who, at best, knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those timid souls who know neither victory nor defeat."

-Theodore Roosevelt

Self-Improvement Is Not Really About Improvement

Alan Watts demonstrates an important point in this video. We already are the brahma.

The conventional perspective to self-improvement is that of becoming great. This is somewhat false. Realize that you already possess greatness. All you must do is remove the mental obstacles that limit your greatness. These include false beliefs, social conditioning, self-doubt, and many other limitations adopted since early childhood.

Imagine your greatness as an infinite ocean spanning across all of space and time. At the center, there is a large well (or access point). However, this well is buried under heaps of bullshit. Dead earth and slimy fungus plug up the opening.

You can plant gorgeous flowers and huge red woods on top of the rubbish, but they will not live long. Instead, clear away the dead earth and fungus and allow the well to gush forth with liquid greatness and nourish the flowers and trees to grow as wide and as tall as the eye can see.

Here are two quick action steps to get started:
-Read The Voice of Knowledge
-Take 1 negative belief or thought and disprove it. For example, if you think "I'm stupid," sit down with a piece of paper and write "I'm smart" at the top. Next, write down at least ten instances where you did something smart.

The Purpose of Clothing

***
Decided to move fashion content back. 2 separate blogs consumes too much time. Please excuse the ADD perfectionism.
***

The purpose of a man's clothing is simple: draw attention to the man, not the clothes. Menswear must highlight the man, which is defined in our culture as his face and his eyes. A man's clothing choices should funnel a viewer's attention to his face and, if possible, his eyes (i.e. his character).

Highlighting a man's face is done mostly through color, fit, hairstyle, and grooming. Poor fits or terrible colors will distract a viewer's eye away from the face and to the clothing itself. Avoid this at all costs as you will fail to wear the clothes, the clothes will wear you. Specifically, hairstyle and the color worn around the face have the biggest impact on where a viewer's attention will go. Healthy skin is vital as well.

The purpose of a woman's clothing is the same: draw attention to the woman. However, in our culture, the emphasis shifts slightly to highlighting a woman's overall figure rather than her face. This usually means longer hair and more color and pattern on clothing. Fit, color, hairstyle, and grooming are once again crucial.

Personally, I hate caked-up make-up if it's worn on a regular basis (sometimes it can be really hot), but I love when women wear eye-liner because I like looking into a woman's eyes. A woman that can hold strong eye-contact exudes confidence. My icey, cold heart begins to melt.

The fundamental principles of style for both men and women are the same. We only have varying definitions for the what we choose to highlight about a man or woman.

Spring Trends and How to Pull Them Off

Flowers bloom, sunshine begins to peak through, and people show more skin. Spring rejuvenates the soul. It also brings new fashion trends.

Fuck fashion.

Cultivate personal style instead. Fashion can't make up its mind, it's ADD. Style, however, transcends time. Style conveys assuredness while fashion betrays confidence.

That's not to say you should exclude trends from your wardrobe. Merely, ask yourself whether a certain trend fits your personality and whether you can wear it beyond a single season.

Here's a rundown of the big trends right now and some ideas on how to incorporate them. Orange, camo, and floral print are the main ones. African print and denim shirts are two additional trends I'm not going to cover at this time.

I. Orange

Large blocks of orange tend to look garish and very few people have the complexion to pull it off.

How Not to Wear Orange

Ridiculous orange suit

Orange shoes that draw attention away from the man (i.e. his face)

If you have a bad fake tan

How to Wear Orange

Just a pop of color in an accessory

Again, as a splash of color in an accessory

If you break up the large block of orange around the face to retain a bright complexion.

II. Camo

A few days ago I saw a camo blazer, camo shoes, and a camo tie. This theme can easily go wrong.

How Not to Wear Camo

Full suit camo

Camo dress shoes

How to Wear Camo

In a fitted jacket with quality color/dye

Well-draping camo pants in a subdued tone

Camo sneakers

III. Floral Print

Floral print is a bit easier since the trend comes around every spring time. It doesn't really go out of fashion as it is a more traditional spring time look. Hard to go wrong if you're a woman on this one. 

How Not to Wear Floral Print

Overdoing it

Most men should avoid floral pants, though this look isn't too bad (bolder print with a plain shirt)

How to Wear Floral Print

In small amounts and on seasonal pieces like swim trunks

Floral shirts and in larger print

Red and Black Make You More Attractive

Whether you like it or not, people judge you based on appearance. Color, in particular, speaks volumes.

Clothing colors can make skin look either healthy or sickly. Colors affect both the perceiver's and the wearer's psychology. The recent lab coat test experiment also supports this idea.

I recently stumbled upon this article in an evolutionary psychology journal. It provides evidence to support the theories of color/clothing psychology. You can read it for detail, but the main takeaways are:

1. Men and women wearing either black or red were perceived to be more attractive by the opposite sex. The increase in attractiveness was equal for both colors in both directions (i.e. males rating females and vice-versa). Statistically significant.

2. Men and women wearing black or red were perceived to be more attractive by the opposite sex and same sex (except in females rating females) even when the color of the clothing was unavailable to the raters (blocked out). This suggests that wearing a certain color can change the psychology of the wearer (i.e. increase attractive expressions and posture), which then raters could pick up on. Statistically significant.

So, wearing black or red will make others perceive you to be more attractive and will make you feel more attractive, which then causes you to produce attraction signals through non-verbal communication. However, there are a few caveats. Firstly, evolutionary psychology is riddled with errors and major biases so using this area of study to make claims is suspect. Also, this is a general trend and certain complexions should not wear red or black. For example, wearing black on darker skin will wash out your appearance.

Experiment with an all black outfit, which will convey power, authority, and mystery.

What's Your Life Purpose?

I recently read a psychology article that said when people make small decisions, logical reasoning usually produces the best result and when people make large decisions, following a gut feeling tends to produce a better result. In conclusion, listen to your intuition if you want to figure out what to do with your life.

Nonetheless, I'm going to present a quick exercise that may help you bring that gut feeling up to the surface. Simply, just answer the following questions, look for common themes, and let your instincts take care of the rest. I've included a few of my own answers.

1. What makes you smile?
Solving complex problems, learning something new, babies, flirting

2. What are you curious about?
The universe, brain, quantum physics, other cultures and languages, what makes people great, economics

3. What do you notice?
Nice clothing, elegance, unique style, great design, non-verbal communication, inefficiency, underlying principles, what makes someone unique or different

4. What do you do without thinking?
Synthesizing complex information and ideas, critical thinking and logical reasoning, finding humor in situations, criticizing, planning and executing plans, learning, working with systems, maximizing efficiency, organizing

5. What are you passionate about?
Science, self-improvement, solving complex problems, increasing efficiency, thinking in new ways, challenging people and ideas, overcoming challenges

6. What would you do for free?
Learning, science experiments, teaching/helping, planning, increasing efficiency

7. What do you always talk about?
Science, brain, universe, social interactions, self-improvement, new theories

Here's another version, which I find a little vague, but may still be valuable.

Book Review & Free Download: The Science of Being Great by Wallace Wattles

Just finished one of my first ever audio books (technically my third) and I am very content. The Science of Being Great was first published in 1911, but its main ideas transcend time.

The book presents very little science or research and that which it presents is outdated. However, the ideas are potent. Basically, it discusses the power of positive thinking and can be compared to the 'Law of Attraction.' 

I can't say I believe that thought objectively alters physical reality. But for practical purposes it does. Subjectively, our reality is based on our beliefs and perceptions. If this were not so, confirmation bias would not exist in science. Yet, it does because we effectively mold our own worlds. There is simply too much information for the brain to process to build an objective reality. Selective perception empowers humans to be more happy and productive than if they were to view the world in a purely objective way.

A sexy female accent narrates the book and makes sweet love to your ear buds. On a side note, I now prefer audio books as the choice method of "reading." For me, stopping everything and just focusing on sound brings me into the moment. Listen to audio books as if you're reading a book. Mute all other distractions and you will become more present and focused. Avoid multi tasking (though audio books and driving may be a good combo). 

Here's free and legal torrent download of the book, which is in the librivox public domain. In total, it is about 2 hours and 12 minutes long.

What Does It Mean to Be A Man?

A man sets his own standards.
A man takes action rather than seeking permission.
A man respects himself, his time, and others. He expects the same in return.
A man knows what he wants and pursues it unrelentingly.
A man nourishes his mind, body, and soul.
A man expresses emotion.
A man believes he can accomplish anything he wants.
A man plays his strengths and admits his weaknesses.
A man seeks truth and does not lie to himself or others in order to feel more comfortable.
A man displays goodness, kindness, and gentleness.
A man is a dick when he needs to be.
A man feels comfortable with his desires.
A man acts self-assured and confident, not supplicative or hyper-masculine.
A man loves life and appreciates beauty.
A man accepts responsibility for his himself, his actions, and his life.
A man is at peace with the world.

Please add your own ideas to the list in the comments section. A female perspective would be really great too!

The Byronic Hero

That man of loneliness and mystery,

Scarce seen to smile, and seldom heard to sigh— (I, VIII)
and

He knew himself a villain—but he deem’d
The rest no better than the thing he seem’d;
And scorn’d the best as hypocrites who hid
Those deeds the bolder spirit plainly did.
He knew himself detested, but he knew
The hearts that loath’d him, crouch’d and dreaded too.
Lone, wild, and strange, he stood alike exempt
From all affection and from all contempt: (I, XII)

Don't Listen To Me, I'm A Dumbass

Okay, that's a lie. I'm pretty smart. But you're smarter, or at least you have that potential, because our own minds know us better than anyone else (even when we feel lost). The human mind poses a huge well of power. However, accessing that power is the difficult part. It requires high levels of: self-awareness, critical thought, honesty, openness, nonjudgmentalness, acceptance, patience, and faith. Wow. That's a big list.

People often seek advice or instruction. While having both and internal and external perspective is important, many people simply forget about the internal.

If there's something you want to answer or achieve, ask yourself first before seeking out external resources. Many times our minds will show us the path if we have a little patience.  In the words of The Brain, "Are you pondering what I'm pondering?"

R-Drive Happiness

Another sweet test from similarminds.org  is the R-Drive test. It comes in short (65 questions) and long (165 questions) versions and provides insight into what you find rewarding and motivating (i.e. what makes you happy) in addition to relevant weak spots.

I found mine to be accurate so I thought I'd share the test. My results:

Happy                                                                                Potential Flaws
Being independent                                                           Avoidance
Intellectual complexity                                                    Impractical, alienation
Structure                                                                           Rigid, lacking spontaneity
Change                                                                               Not sticking to something
Physical exercise
Being calm

Take the test and let me know how accurate it was in describing you.

Positive Dominance

People sometimes assign a negative connotation to dominance. However, dominance empowers individuals. In particular, cultivating dominance over your own life helps create an internal locus of control so as to make you feel as if you have the power to create your own reality rather than being the victim of the world. Dominance creates influence. Positive dominance is the ability to have control over life in a way that enriches your life and the life of those who you are dominant over.

I rank highly on the Neuroticism personality scale; I prefer to take control and be the leader. Yet, I catch myself looking for permission on occasion and I can feel a sensation of weakness whenever I'm not going after what I want. This stems from a combination of crappy social conditioning and a lack of strong role models.

Leaders don't seek permission, they take action regardless of what others think. There are few leaders in the world and many followers. That's totally fine, not everyone has to lead others, though everyone should have the ability to lead themselves. Certain personalities have natural leadership qualities, yet they can be highly underdeveloped. Dominance is just one aspect of leadership. It's something I would like to cultivate.

I've noticed the following common traits among dominant people:

• They touch people frequently. Submissive and passive people tend to be wary or fearful of touching others. Dominant people aren't afraid to use touch for emphasis, appreciation, or attention.
• Dominant people tend to be more physically expressive, using more hand gestures and facial expressions than an average person. However, there are expressive people who aren't necessarily dominant.
• Hold strong eye-contact and don't look away first.
• Initiate, whether it is a handshake or a get together.
• Ask for forgiveness rather than for permission.
• Make decisions and take control.
• Are highly secure with themselves.
• Have strong boundaries. This is extremely important. Most people have underdeveloped boundaries. I really wish this was taught in school.
• Have a strong identity, life purpose, and/or are charismatic or charming.
• Have a high social and/or emotional intelligence. Because they take action before seeking permission, it is very important to read non-verbal communication so as not to cross boundaries or disrespect others.

There are two main strategies when it comes to cultivating personality traits, which can be summarized by the following: "Lead the mind, and the body will follow. Lead the body, and the mind will follow." Science backs this up as well.

Leading the mind entails a method acting type of approach. The simplest way is to ask questions to yourself and then let your subconscious return the answer. This is called contemplation, introspection, or meditation. Have you had the experience where someone asked you for advice, you gave it to them, and they still wanted more advice? They just couldn't accept or run with it but still seemed unsure? 

Well, that's usually because people want to find the answer themselves (or because they're stuck in a victim mentality and don't actually want help). You can almost always find the right answer yourself. Just ask your brain questions, "How can I be more dominant?" "How would a dominant person behave?" Then let your subconscious do the work.

The second way, leading the body, entails modelling behaviors of dominant people. So, take any aspect from the list above and tell yourself that you will do more of it. For example, say, "Today, I will use more hand gestures as I speak." Throughout the day, check in on yourself to see whether you are doing it. Your behavior will affect your mental attitude the same way your attitude affects your behavior.

The learning process follows this pattern:

Unconscious incompetence --> conscious incompetence --> conscious competence --> unconscious competence. I'll cover this later.

The key issues are to focus on one behavior or attitude at a time and to have a strong awareness that allows you to recognize answers as they float up to your mind and allows you to remember to check in through out the day. You can call this mindfulness or presence.

Freedom Through Art

Surrealism is freedom in art form. Rules don't exist. Imagination drives the paintbrush and makes the brain do back flips. Sometimes I feel as if I'm getting a brain massage when I look at such surprising images. We are forever in search of freedom.

Read This Twice

"I can hear the voice in my head reading this sentence."

The effect we notice when we read that sentence has many names depending on whose definition we use: self-awareness, consciousness, meta-cognition. The ability to have thoughts about our thoughts is a distinctly human trait supposedly given to us by our developed brains.

As we move our attention from the base level of thinking towards higher levels of thought, in which we can reflect on our actions, thoughts, and physical bodies, we become present to the current moment. Yet this reflection becomes more difficult to verbally describe. It feels as if we are looking down on ourselves from above, from a place which can only be experienced and not described. Neuroscientists cannot explain how the brain creates consciousness.

The Neuroscience of Sex, Love, and Monogamy

The two main neurochemicals related to love and sex are dopamine and oxytocin. Dopamine is the reward chemical released during orgasm, which 1) makes sex feel good and makes you want more sex and, 2) produces the Coolidge Effect or the "orgasm hangover," which makes you sick of the person you just had sex with and want a novel mate. This happens in both males and females.

Oxytocin is also released during sex and is responsible for bonding (though love is a cocktail of more than these two chemicals including adrenaline and serotonin). The primary function of oxytocin is to bond parent and child, however, it also bonds sexual partners (potential parents) and even friends. It increases if parents are going to raise a child so as to keep the parents together long enough to nuture a child until it is biologically self-sufficient (not for life). Touching people also releases Oxytocin and causes bonding.

There is an interesting interplay between sex and love. Sex simultaneously produces a neurochemical to make you want to find a novel sexual partner, but another chemical to also bond with that same sexual partner. These neurochemicals stimulate the release of each other (in a seemingly inverse relationship).

So, the more you orgasm during sex (which is meant to release or prepare the release of DNA), the more likely you'll want a novel mate. The more you have sex while withholding orgasm (which isn't the biological purpose of sex), the longer you'll stay bonded with that sexual partner.

However, this is not a binary situation. You can simultaneously be bonded to a sexual partner and, at the same time, want to find a novel mate as well. In other words, monogamy in humans is a social function rather than a biological function. Your biology says, "Yes, you can have multiple sexual partners at the same time and have an intimate connection with all of them."

I believe that the majority of suffering results from the cognitive dissonance created by social conventions which directly oppose our biology. In order for humanity to evolve, we must reconcile our socializing with our biology rather than fight against it with asinine arguments such as: humans are superior beings, sexual relationships are significantly different from other relationships, and so on.

It is absolutely possible to leverage our biology to make humans into the biggest ballers in the universe. Lets find that path.

*Sorry about not citing my sources, but I've lost the links.

On Entrepreneurship

The video is really long but full of value to anyone interested in entrepreneurship.

The Most Atrocious Advice

"Just be yourself"

The most cliche and indeterminate advice in history.

Actually, that's a bit of a lie. In reality, this is simultaneously some of the worst and best advice. It's horrible because nobody knows what it means. People throw out it as much as they do filler um... uhh... ummmm... words.

Let's break this down and see how it can become a wonderful piece of wisdom. Here's what it means in an evolved sense.

"Just be yourself," really means...

Be outcome independent. In other words, speak to people as if your words and actions are merely an expression of value. Don't be trying to get something from others. Don't try to make her laugh or smile or start unzipping your pants.

However, this turns into a paradox and you should own up to your intentions. If you're attracted to someone, don't try to hide it. Why in the world do people try to hide it that they like someone?! How can you hook up if everyone is trying to pretend they don't like each other?

"Hey dude, that girl is totally cute..."

[girl makes eye-contact]

[guys darts his eyes away quickly. ends up forever alone]

We are supposed to be attracted to the opposite sex. Own up to it. You may think it sounds creepy, but actually trying to hide it comes off as creepy. It ends up turning into manipulation because guys end up doing nice things for women only because they think and expect attraction and sex in return and women end up being too passive or hard-to-get and complain that there are no good men.

Finally, being yourself requires being present to the moment rather than living in the past or future. Being aware of your body and your surroundings is the best way to become present. I have many posts about this topic as I believe it to be a fundamental principle in a fulfilling life.

In summary, "be yourself" really means:

• Stop trying to get validation from people, but give them value by sharing your genuine personality. Let them take it or leave it. Expression not impression.
• Don't hide your intentions, but own up to them. Stop being ashamed of your sexual desires.
• Be present to the moment instead of stuck in your head thinking of ways to look cool.

This is also the true definition of being "normal" (which is not the same as being average).