Want more success and happiness? This is how I'll get it based on my personal strengths, weaknesses, and experiences. Yours may differ.
1. Presence - Being in the moment. Can be described as where you place your attention. I tend to get stuck inside my head and thus fail to be present. The best way to become present is to move attention away from your thoughts and onto something else such as the physical sensation in your toes (or other body parts), the sounds around you, listening intently to whoever you're speaking with, and focusing on their eyes. Yoga helps quite a bit (it forces you to bring your attention to your body, breath, and gaze). These are things that help me. Would love to hear anything else you use to become more present.
2. Honest expression of your feelings and boundaries - In the long run, not expressing yourself, boundaries, and feelings will lead to wasting time on people, places, and projects that get you no where. Being dishonest is also inefficient. Better to clear things up from the get go and save yourself bullshit in the long run. If you tend to be uber direct or critical like me, learn a little tact. It'll be more efficient and give you a little more power dealing with peoples' feelings.
3. Leading and dominance - Take control over your life, conversations, and interactions. Few people want to step up and just seek permission. Someone has to be a leader, might as well be you. If you're a female, be assertive but remember that being feminine is still sexy and powerful. Domineering women can be a turn-off and actually lead to less influence in your interactions.
4. Strong non-verbal communication - This is extremely powerful. Hold solid eye-contact, take up some space (but not too much as that shows overcompensation and too much aggression), stand up straight, slow down movements and speech, and speak with a resonant voice from your natural pitch (use hum test to find it).
5. Know your value - Write down and remind yourself of all of the things that make you awesome. When speaking with others, imagine they are the lucky ones for knowing a guy/girl like you. Try to write down 50 things right now!
6. Be the buyer and think win/win. When you meet others, don't sell yourself. Have them sell themselves to you. You're the buyer here. You don't have to sell yourself to anyone. Then, make sure to go 50/50 partners in crime. You both have something to offer. Think win/win mentalities.
7. Nonchalance - Have a casual attitude when meeting new people and making plans. Don't be too eager or needy, you have more important priorities than new people. Additionally, don't over explain yourself. Say and do less and others will begin reacting to you.
8. Play - Don't forget to laugh, tease, and flirt with everyone. Have fun, even in tough situations. Think of Tony Stark in Ironman, always making jokes in the most life threatening situations.
9. Purpose - Follow your life purpose at all times in all actions. Don't know what it is? Figure it out ASAP. Without direction or goals, you're wasting your time on this planet.
10. Gratitude - Express gratitude daily. Write down 3 new things you are grateful for at the end of every day.
Bonus:
11. Always be growing - Never stop learning or investing in yourself whether it's through classes, clothes, health, reading, etc.
