Read This Twice

"I can hear the voice in my head reading this sentence."

The effect we notice when we read that sentence has many names depending on whose definition we use: self-awareness, consciousness, meta-cognition. The ability to have thoughts about our thoughts is a distinctly human trait supposedly given to us by our developed brains.

As we move our attention from the base level of thinking towards higher levels of thought, in which we can reflect on our actions, thoughts, and physical bodies, we become present to the current moment. Yet this reflection becomes more difficult to verbally describe. It feels as if we are looking down on ourselves from above, from a place which can only be experienced and not described. Neuroscientists cannot explain how the brain creates consciousness.

The Neuroscience of Sex, Love, and Monogamy

The two main neurochemicals related to love and sex are dopamine and oxytocin. Dopamine is the reward chemical released during orgasm, which 1) makes sex feel good and makes you want more sex and, 2) produces the Coolidge Effect or the "orgasm hangover," which makes you sick of the person you just had sex with and want a novel mate. This happens in both males and females.

Oxytocin is also released during sex and is responsible for bonding (though love is a cocktail of more than these two chemicals including adrenaline and serotonin). The primary function of oxytocin is to bond parent and child, however, it also bonds sexual partners (potential parents) and even friends. It increases if parents are going to raise a child so as to keep the parents together long enough to nuture a child until it is biologically self-sufficient (not for life). Touching people also releases Oxytocin and causes bonding.

There is an interesting interplay between sex and love. Sex simultaneously produces a neurochemical to make you want to find a novel sexual partner, but another chemical to also bond with that same sexual partner. These neurochemicals stimulate the release of each other (in a seemingly inverse relationship).

So, the more you orgasm during sex (which is meant to release or prepare the release of DNA), the more likely you'll want a novel mate. The more you have sex while withholding orgasm (which isn't the biological purpose of sex), the longer you'll stay bonded with that sexual partner.

However, this is not a binary situation. You can simultaneously be bonded to a sexual partner and, at the same time, want to find a novel mate as well. In other words, monogamy in humans is a social function rather than a biological function. Your biology says, "Yes, you can have multiple sexual partners at the same time and have an intimate connection with all of them."

I believe that the majority of suffering results from the cognitive dissonance created by social conventions which directly oppose our biology. In order for humanity to evolve, we must reconcile our socializing with our biology rather than fight against it with asinine arguments such as: humans are superior beings, sexual relationships are significantly different from other relationships, and so on.

It is absolutely possible to leverage our biology to make humans into the biggest ballers in the universe. Lets find that path.

*Sorry about not citing my sources, but I've lost the links.

On Entrepreneurship

The video is really long but full of value to anyone interested in entrepreneurship.

The Most Atrocious Advice

"Just be yourself"

The most cliche and indeterminate advice in history.

Actually, that's a bit of a lie. In reality, this is simultaneously some of the worst and best advice. It's horrible because nobody knows what it means. People throw out it as much as they do filler um... uhh... ummmm... words.

Let's break this down and see how it can become a wonderful piece of wisdom. Here's what it means in an evolved sense.

"Just be yourself," really means...

Be outcome independent. In other words, speak to people as if your words and actions are merely an expression of value. Don't be trying to get something from others. Don't try to make her laugh or smile or start unzipping your pants.

However, this turns into a paradox and you should own up to your intentions. If you're attracted to someone, don't try to hide it. Why in the world do people try to hide it that they like someone?! How can you hook up if everyone is trying to pretend they don't like each other?

"Hey dude, that girl is totally cute..."

[girl makes eye-contact]

[guys darts his eyes away quickly. ends up forever alone]

We are supposed to be attracted to the opposite sex. Own up to it. You may think it sounds creepy, but actually trying to hide it comes off as creepy. It ends up turning into manipulation because guys end up doing nice things for women only because they think and expect attraction and sex in return and women end up being too passive or hard-to-get and complain that there are no good men.

Finally, being yourself requires being present to the moment rather than living in the past or future. Being aware of your body and your surroundings is the best way to become present. I have many posts about this topic as I believe it to be a fundamental principle in a fulfilling life.

In summary, "be yourself" really means:

• Stop trying to get validation from people, but give them value by sharing your genuine personality. Let them take it or leave it. Expression not impression.
• Don't hide your intentions, but own up to them. Stop being ashamed of your sexual desires.
• Be present to the moment instead of stuck in your head thinking of ways to look cool.

This is also the true definition of being "normal" (which is not the same as being average).

Let People Hate You

If you're not pissing people off, you're doing it [life] wrong.

Exude Charisma

Here's a fantastic video on building Charisma, which is very possible. It's a learned behavior, not an innate quality that people are born with.

According to Fox, there are 3 main pillars in charisma. These are presence, power, and warmth. She then goes on to explain how to build these three pillars. I summarize below, but watch the video as it is brimming with value.

1. Presence - Being in the moment and being authentic. Become present by bringing your attention to the physical sensation in your toes. Also, focus on the different colors in a person's eyes when you are speaking with them. Don't overdo it.

2. Power - Exhibited mostly through body language. The main way to exude power is to take up physical space.

3. Warmth - Exhibited mostly through the muscles in the face, particularly the eyes. To convey warmth, simply imagine someone you have great affection for when you are speaking to people. Your voice will also play a role in warmth.

Fox is the author of a book called The Charisma Myth, which is on my reading list.

Pure, Unadulterated Consciousness

If I had to describe myself in a single word, 'scientist' would definitely be at the top of the list. My definition of science is simply: the search for truth. There is no reason why science and spirituality cannot interplay. For example, there is no reason why future science (in particular, quantum mechanics) cannot find evidence to support the existence of a god. Science is a mere infant. It has a long journey of growth ahead.

All major revolutionary discoveries in science grew out of the imagination of scientists who society considered a little crazy. The Roman Inquisition imprisoned Galileo for claiming that the Earth was not the center of the universe.

Well, here's another heretic with whom I enjoy exploring our collective imagination. Since the practice of ancient Buddhism, people have claimed that everything is "connected." Using obscure scientific theories, critical thought, and my own intuition and imagination, I've constructed my own model for the working universe.

My mostly unsubstantiated model of the universe looks like this: the single unifying force (i.e. the unified field theory, which Einstein spent his life trying to construct) is consciousness. The universe is a sea of consciousness that fluctuates like the tides of an ocean. Consciousness is everywhere all at once. The universe is inherently 'intelligent' and results in the arranged complexity of the physical world. Human beings are just pockets of consciousness trying to experience itself in a physical form. There is no anthropomorphic god. We are the gods because we are consciousness and consciousness is the universe.

Trippy stuff huh? There are plenty of sources and experiments I'll describe in future posts which contributed to this model. I encourage you to explore your own mental model of the universe.

Executive of the World

If you're having trouble in finding a satisfying career, take this mini career inventory test at similarminds.com for a sense of what career style you're suited for. My results:

Extroversion - 73%
Emotional stability - 60%
Orderliness - 83%
Altruism - 40%
Inquisitiveness - 86%

These traits mixed together resulted in an "Executive" career style. Been seeing this theme in my recent career and personality studies. Reflecting on my thoughts, behaviors, and areas for growth, I feel this is accurate.

The above website is a good resource with plenty of other tests so be sure to check it out!

Know Your Value

Everyone has something valuable to offer, yet many people put others on a pedestal and behave supplicatively. They don't believe in themselves and feel (usually subconsciously) as if others are somehow better than them. This is hugely unattractive. There is no reason why you are not enough.

In order to refresh yourself, sit down with a pen and paper and answer the following questions. Do it by hand first as this is more effective. You can transfer it to a word document after.

This will help you see your own value. I've included several of my own answers so you have an idea (my actual answers are much longer).

1. What makes me special?
-I'm very intelligent; I can easily stimulate people's minds and challenge them
-I'm very creative and imaginative; I have tons of great solutions, ideas, and stories
-Sophisticated, well-spoken, well-dressed

2. What makes me attractive?
-My confident attitude
-My style
-My nice body shape, full lips, firm ass, long fingers, ...

3. Why would a hot person of the opposite sex want to sleep with me?
-She'll feel safe, comfortable, and excited
-She'll be thoroughly dominated
-She'll enjoy my vivid imagination

Come back to it from time to time and add or re-answer the questions.

You Can Choose Your Response

2 Ways To Become Present

Presence is a key ingredient to charisma. There are two exercises you can use from time to time to become more present:

1. Bring your attention to the physical sensation in your toes.

2. Mixer exercise - close your eyes and identify each layer of sound you hear.

Try them and let me know how they work!