The Intersection of High Assertiveness and High Cooperation

I've been pondering how to describe "higher consciousness." What do I mean when I say that humans need to learn how to operate from a higher consciousness?

Well, I stumbled on this chart a few days ago and believe it matches my thinking very well. All lower consciousness thinking falls into the categories labeled anything but "collaborating."

Win/lose or lose/lose mentalities pervade these quadrants. Most people, ideas, and paragdigms fall into these categories. Capitalism falls here as well (competing). Socialism would probably fall near the avoidant mindset though it attempts to masquerade near the top right.

Very few people are true "collaborators." Well, in order for the collective human spirit to reach a higher level of existence, we must work to move the tipping point over so that the majority of people operate from the collaborative paradigm.

Win/win mentalities must become the norm of the world if we are to survive for millions more years. There are many ways to tackle this problem. I'll present them in upcoming articles.

Self-Improvement Is Not Really About Improvement

Alan Watts demonstrates an important point in this video. We already are the brahma.

The conventional perspective to self-improvement is that of becoming great. This is somewhat false. Realize that you already possess greatness. All you must do is remove the mental obstacles that limit your greatness. These include false beliefs, social conditioning, self-doubt, and many other limitations adopted since early childhood.

Imagine your greatness as an infinite ocean spanning across all of space and time. At the center, there is a large well (or access point). However, this well is buried under heaps of bullshit. Dead earth and slimy fungus plug up the opening.

You can plant gorgeous flowers and huge red woods on top of the rubbish, but they will not live long. Instead, clear away the dead earth and fungus and allow the well to gush forth with liquid greatness and nourish the flowers and trees to grow as wide and as tall as the eye can see.

Here are two quick action steps to get started:
-Read The Voice of Knowledge
-Take 1 negative belief or thought and disprove it. For example, if you think "I'm stupid," sit down with a piece of paper and write "I'm smart" at the top. Next, write down at least ten instances where you did something smart.

The Neuroscience of Sex, Love, and Monogamy

The two main neurochemicals related to love and sex are dopamine and oxytocin. Dopamine is the reward chemical released during orgasm, which 1) makes sex feel good and makes you want more sex and, 2) produces the Coolidge Effect or the "orgasm hangover," which makes you sick of the person you just had sex with and want a novel mate. This happens in both males and females.

Oxytocin is also released during sex and is responsible for bonding (though love is a cocktail of more than these two chemicals including adrenaline and serotonin). The primary function of oxytocin is to bond parent and child, however, it also bonds sexual partners (potential parents) and even friends. It increases if parents are going to raise a child so as to keep the parents together long enough to nuture a child until it is biologically self-sufficient (not for life). Touching people also releases Oxytocin and causes bonding.

There is an interesting interplay between sex and love. Sex simultaneously produces a neurochemical to make you want to find a novel sexual partner, but another chemical to also bond with that same sexual partner. These neurochemicals stimulate the release of each other (in a seemingly inverse relationship).

So, the more you orgasm during sex (which is meant to release or prepare the release of DNA), the more likely you'll want a novel mate. The more you have sex while withholding orgasm (which isn't the biological purpose of sex), the longer you'll stay bonded with that sexual partner.

However, this is not a binary situation. You can simultaneously be bonded to a sexual partner and, at the same time, want to find a novel mate as well. In other words, monogamy in humans is a social function rather than a biological function. Your biology says, "Yes, you can have multiple sexual partners at the same time and have an intimate connection with all of them."

I believe that the majority of suffering results from the cognitive dissonance created by social conventions which directly oppose our biology. In order for humanity to evolve, we must reconcile our socializing with our biology rather than fight against it with asinine arguments such as: humans are superior beings, sexual relationships are significantly different from other relationships, and so on.

It is absolutely possible to leverage our biology to make humans into the biggest ballers in the universe. Lets find that path.

*Sorry about not citing my sources, but I've lost the links.

The Most Atrocious Advice

"Just be yourself"

The most cliche and indeterminate advice in history.

Actually, that's a bit of a lie. In reality, this is simultaneously some of the worst and best advice. It's horrible because nobody knows what it means. People throw out it as much as they do filler um... uhh... ummmm... words.

Let's break this down and see how it can become a wonderful piece of wisdom. Here's what it means in an evolved sense.

"Just be yourself," really means...

Be outcome independent. In other words, speak to people as if your words and actions are merely an expression of value. Don't be trying to get something from others. Don't try to make her laugh or smile or start unzipping your pants.

However, this turns into a paradox and you should own up to your intentions. If you're attracted to someone, don't try to hide it. Why in the world do people try to hide it that they like someone?! How can you hook up if everyone is trying to pretend they don't like each other?

"Hey dude, that girl is totally cute..."

[girl makes eye-contact]

[guys darts his eyes away quickly. ends up forever alone]

We are supposed to be attracted to the opposite sex. Own up to it. You may think it sounds creepy, but actually trying to hide it comes off as creepy. It ends up turning into manipulation because guys end up doing nice things for women only because they think and expect attraction and sex in return and women end up being too passive or hard-to-get and complain that there are no good men.

Finally, being yourself requires being present to the moment rather than living in the past or future. Being aware of your body and your surroundings is the best way to become present. I have many posts about this topic as I believe it to be a fundamental principle in a fulfilling life.

In summary, "be yourself" really means:

• Stop trying to get validation from people, but give them value by sharing your genuine personality. Let them take it or leave it. Expression not impression.
• Don't hide your intentions, but own up to them. Stop being ashamed of your sexual desires.
• Be present to the moment instead of stuck in your head thinking of ways to look cool.

This is also the true definition of being "normal" (which is not the same as being average).